Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.  Genesis 3:7

Read Genesis 3.  Adam and Eve sinned and hid as do we.

Something happened in that garden that has changed who were are. We hide. We’re ashamed of who we are and what we’ve done, so we grab whatever is most convenient and hide behind it.

The solution to our fig leaves is volunerability.

I hid behind several things, and they have been slowly stripped away…

I had a job..then my husband and I felt God calling us to a new ministry.

I had a house…gone with the move.

I had a ministry full of people I loved…and I think they loved me too.  Back to the beginning we go.

I had a car…it wouldn’t pass inspection in PA …so we decided to sell it…then it broke again. junk.

I had a dog…she  became paralyzed in her back end.  Now God and I had a conversation about that one. I  know I can be a slow learner, but my dog too.  That seemed  a bit too far.  We still have her and love her, but she’s not the same.

Everything that I could rely on was being removed.  Until  it  was me, my husband, and my Jesus.

Finally, I found that all I ever needed was there all along after the fig leaves were  pulled back.

I was volunerable before the Lord.

-Insights from the Life of Just Another Pastor’s Wife.

Faith    

Hebrew 11: 1  Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Believe.   Trust.   Don’t be Anxious.   Pray.   Have Faith.

Sounds easy.  Seems easy.

It’s not easy.      

I have faith.  I believe in Jesus as my Savior and Lord, and I’ve never even seen him. Think about that.

Faith is a crazy idea.  In nothing else do I put my trust without testing the waters, observing, and feeling it out.  With God, things are different.  My spirit is willing, but my flesh is so frail.  My spirit says “Jump….He’s got you.”  My flesh says….”You’re Crazy! Hold tight to what you have.”

I get consumed by what I see.  It’s easier to follow what’s laid out in front of me. I have monetary needs, parental advice,  “pastoral”  advice, friends’ advice, personal ambition….all of which is tangible and sound, yet anchored in the visible, safe and logical.

I want faith. Real faith. I want to be available to God with confidence and assurance. I want to believe without sight.

 -Insights from the life of just another pastor’s wife.